The Sun is Shining

There is definitely something juicy here, like the orange I am eating. Just need to peel back the skin and the juice is ready to explode. The peeling is the difficult part, like I am the orange but unripened still. Not ready to peel off the skin and allow all of my juices to flow. Still scared to show up. Yet, the sun keeps shining and the seed keeps growing and the fruit keeps maturing until it no longer can contain itself within the protective shell, and it has to burst forth like a geyser, like a newborn, like all of life. But I digress...

In this case, I am the victim (a self-created victim) of....what would be a good term that describes the situation just right without using the banal self-esteem, self-this, self-that?... She fed my hunger for acceptance. Oh, how great is the longing to be seen. Oh, how powerful is the thirst to be recognized. And oh, how so blinding is this energy. Yes, I folded in half, buried the truth behind the flowering bush, and marched into the darkness. I must admit that walking in the forest without a compass is rather stressful, where is the road anyway? Am I going in circles? And what is this pungent odor? I kept the march to the beat of her pretty-in-pink persuasive drum, and yet, the wind was strong, the resistance grew, and my body gave out. A few trees and fantasies were destroyed along the way. I take full responsibility for the damage caused by my inability to see and know. A few thorns pierced my delicate skin, and while I am on the amend from the injuries sustained on the mission, the true juice of the matter is yet to be squeezed out. The truth is, I am not yet full. I am not yet mature. I am not yet firm. I am not yet clear, though, the sun is shining, and the seed is growing, and the fruit is maturing until it no longer can contain itself and is ready to explode like a.....hmmm, please insert your own image here.

Until the great flood takes place, I will stumble and fall, get up and go again with emphasis on minimizing the sting of moving without complete illumination.