The Dynamics

I feel compelled to explain, starting with the dance floor- a venue so familiar and powerful to me.

She makes him look good. It is acknowledged by him and by the spectators. It is that obvious. What is not so obvious to the spectators is how it came about that she makes him look so good. 

When watching a dance, almost inevitably the attraction is the beautiful woman. Her partner is almost a backdrop while she's the centerpiece. Her attributes of grace, poise, power, timing (just to name a few) seem to reach perfection. Her elegant or otherwise captivating movement draws the spectator in. The performance is beautiful and satisfactory. Everyone is enjoying himself to the fullest. 

It is very likely, almost guaranteed, that she is an accomplished dancer. She can hold her own. She can mesmerize in her own right. However, there is more to the story. When dancing with her partner, it is because of his skill, his lead, his reading of her, his adjustments, his loving presence that she can fully display her talents and abilities. He is her stable support and foundation. Because he is able to provide such stability, her trust in him is implicit. She's able to relax and shine in all directions. Her glow is so strong, there is no escaping her making him look good. 

The man's role is to support the woman. The woman will reciprocate in ways unimaginable. The key for such a thing to happen is two-fold: a man must have impeccable technique and be solid on his own, and he must appreciate the woman. He knows that the only way he will look really good is if she looks great. 

And so the next time a man wants to look good or feel good, it is in giving to the woman that he will have the opportunity to receive that which he desires. It will not happen just because she's there, for she will not be able to sustain all of who she is without his considerate support. It will not happen if he demands, expects, coerces, or otherwise extracts the beauty out of her delicate being.

And while this piece uses the relationship that takes place on the dance floor, it is fully applicable to any relationship outside the dance floor. May we have enough understanding of the different roles we play in order to walk through life gracefully and joyfully. May our relationships be grounds for freedom and growth rather than become our ball and chain.