Urgh

What did I sign up for? What did I think? Was I so naive as to really believe? This world seems so harsh, so brute, so cruel. At least there are flowers along the cold route. Sometimes, I just wish to close my eyes and sit there for hours avoiding the light. I don't want to fight, I don't want to plead. I don't want to cry at the injustice in front of me. What am I really moving towards? How many more mountains am I to cross? I don't have the answers, I don't have the map. I need more assistance and a clear eye. To rejoice, to be strong, or whatever that means. I don't want to survive, I want to live. I cannot accept my faith of today. I can't be complacent and bury my head. Yet, the arduous journey has no end. I need a flashlight and a battery pack for the future ahead. They say even Krishna had a difficult life. I am not one of them who enjoys a bumpy ride. I can't run away from myself or my faults. My greatest mistake is to be born with what I don't have. I still haven't learned the rules of this game. It's designed by a mind from an unfriendly terrain. I need this disgust to leave my life. I ask for the power to illuminate and guide. 

I want to be given answers. I want to see a clear path. I want to shine brightly. I want to be a soulful dance.