Only Tears

Finally,

science + spirituality = feminine energy, gratitude, validation



Since its inception, this little blog has attempted to express a bit of truth through a tiny lens of a limited personal experience and understanding. 

And then this man speaks... Things are shifting... The hope is that the "soon" will be just that: soon. The equilibrium needs to be established before more generations suffer the current imbalance.

Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eS-sDv7bLTA&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR34LwzqXPMuWmFS_QqZ2Drc3OavZBsKOFHgiBu0jUKG0rSM-WHWsuggaW0

Where Is The Love?

Having worked in a healthcare industry, I learned a few things. The health system has little to nothing to do with health. Not of the patient, nor of the one providing the care. I have seen enough and experienced enough within me to make this claim. It's a tightly run engine designed to make profit at the expense of patients and workers' tireless efforts.

The treatments provided are considered to be top of the line, most advanced. I suppose so, if you consider cutting a human body the norm. There is so much eagerness to use a sledgehammer and a knife. While impressive, I often wondered who would even think to use a chainsaw on a human form? On one hand incredible, on the other barbaric. 

Onto mental health. Too much to mention here. I will only say that a friend of mine was physically attacked today by someone. Someone struggling with drug addiction and psychosis for many years. Someone who used to sculpt figurines. Drugs are everywhere. People are suffering. And we, the richest country in the world, have not invested in what actually works. Because healthcare could actually become a place of health and care rather than a life-taking industrial complex.

Untitled

Imploring

Omnipresent 

Intelligence

Lead the way

Repeating

Love is...

the absence of fear
not a business deal
requires nothing
simplifies

Love includes
gives and receives
knows nothing of control

It is fluid
It frees

Simply is

Time and a Human

Can't avoid the inescapable realization that days and weeks simply fly by. In joy or sorrow, in energy or fatigue. Time continues to move faster than light. The question, the real question is what is worth using this limited time for? Many "things" can do "done." We are in a nearly constant process of doing, and it feels like we're living when we are. And perhaps, it is true. And, perhaps, we are simply passing time while it doesn't really matter what we do. No one out there can judge another's life. Each does what he knows best, or thinks he knows best. At the end, the question remains. If a day is passed with a smile and a feeling of happiness, maybe that's all there is to it. And, maybe, there is so much more to be experienced that can be only known through not doing. As nearly always, the answer is somewhere in between, transitioning from a state of action to a state of inaction, along a continuum that seems to stretch indefinitely and infinitely, like the energetic connection that exists among people, that exists between nature and people, uniting every thing no matter the distance and no matter the circumstances. Because to live is to experience through, and to know, every cell and oscillation of the creation that makes up a human being. 

Fly

You with your big heart
And big wild dreams
Don't stop the grand life
Brewing strongly within
Seek your deepest wants
Expand in all possible ways
Spread out your colored wings
And be your true and unique self

Done

The lengths some go to in order to gather and accumulate wealth. No, nothing's wrong with wealth. Yet what is the purpose of hoarding more than you would ever need? What is the use? Wealth is powerful. It can build hospitals and roads, feed babies, educate, give bikes to those without wheels and musical instruments to those who love music. This obsession with extracting more and more is obscene. Lying, cheating, intimidating, all just to have it for the sake of having it. This need to possess. There is nothing we can inherently possess. Possession means walls and barriers. It causes fights and wars and, inevitably, suffering. Because nothing is created or destroyed. It is only transferred. And this unconscious and hungry transfer has made the losers angry and scared and the winners scared and angry. A great illusion has guided decision-making. It is called ownership. It sits within another illusion called separation, me versus you, us versus them. We are reaching a tipping point. The time to dismantle an antiquated paradigm has arrived.

A Briefing

no one knows
the internal flame
brief days
unexpected endings

today is here
vanishing minutes
straight questions
bloom amid chaos

playing the wait
reflecting stations
noiseless moments
changing course

Home

never lonely
nor ever alone
swimming incessantly
in imaginary love

filled and fulfilled
arms open wide
keep on stepping
in stride with divine

internal peace
external hug
unforgettable fragrance
door is ajar

never lonely
nor ever alone
windless waves
time to come home

A beautiful song

"How Very Little We Know Of Love"

We're told that life and love forever
Go together hand in glove
But know-it-all or non-committal
It's clear how little we know of love

We stand our ground, so firm and steady
Good and ready for the shove
Then tumble down, just like a skittle
Which shows how little we learn of love

Our smartest self may try to reach us
But if we ever hear the call
We learn that love will only teach us
We know nothing much at all

We thought that we were oh-so-clever
What were we ever thinking of
Which goes to show, how very little
How very little we learn of love

Our smartest self may try to reach us
But if we ever hear the call
We learn that love will only teach us
We know nothing much at all

We thought that we were oh-so-clever
What were we ever thinking of
Which goes to show, how very little
How very little we learn of love

                                                 -Bob Saker

Out of the Way

To be completely and utterly sincere and honest with yourself is the hardest act. To admit many things about yourself you might not want to know. We are very good at hiding and rationalizing. When pain and suffering come, only a profound look at oneself will do. Seeing yourself for who you are has a consequence. Suddenly, a weight that has been keeping you down lifts. Everything seems simple and clear like you have just entered a new world that has always been there but you were not aware of it, and it's become a new reality, because you were able to destroy who you have built up yourself to be.

There is another way. A back door to the same place which is to become completely joyful and luminous, qualities found at the very core of your existence. This, too, will demolish the perception of your own self, because the internal struggle disappears in such a state. Needs and wants, desires, frustrations recede and rather significantly. Once again, there is clarity and a new sense of vitality that fill your days and, ultimately, your life.



"The one who is searching is in his own way." -Mooji

To Be Quiet

The gates to freedom are always open, it's just that the mundane blocks the doorway. To take every step holding the goddess by her hand, to breathe and to eat, to work and to sleep. In every split second magic resides. At night and in daytime, in fight and in fright. To see every thing in a harmonious life, to live with the source guiding toward the light. Each second that passes is full and complete. Choosing to feel what's behind the concrete. Those in pain need the least of disdain. To know when to stay and when to walk away. To trust, to caress, to laugh, to allow. To sing in the face of a major breakdown. And while the answers are to be uncovered, and noises of ignorance are speaking out loud, the quiet attention shows direction to a place of peace, strength, and subjective perfection.

Night Time

I dream in rhymes
And speak in gibberish
The words come
In floods of memories

Nothing has changed
While all is new
To sit alone
And feel grandly huge

To strip away to bare bones
Nakedly stand without an abode
Admit the smallness of who you are
Ask for what is wanted
She will take over, concoct, and decide

So Much

I am and I am not

I grew up with violins
Snow shone like a crystal
Responsibility too much

I dreamed a dream

I was fearful
I was hungry
Sun was brilliant

Journey of peaks and valleys

I feel the distant pain
My hand heals
My emptiness swallows

Protection breeds negotiation

Fall into me
Walls are porous
Smile more precious than a diamond

One touch and I know

Simplicity
Depth of emotion
Flying out of the prison

On the way to nowhere

You Know

I want you to know
Wherever you are
I am here for you
In darkness and light

I want you to know
However you are
I am open to you
Through thick and alike

My one desire 
That's always in me
To be available
In joy and in need

I want you to know
Whatever you are
I am a tree to lean on
In snow, rain and in long night

I refuse to live
Within the locked doors
I rise in the thing called love
Hiding in the depth of my core

Trusting

She said to get creative
She said to let it flow
Relax into the present
Watch luck take off and go

Play days just like a game
Expand to who you are
Smile more and walk in dance
Enjoy the laughing life

Because the sign of mine
Feels best when it is big
No walls and no confines
No jailing chains of greed

The creek crosses the street
Washes away the dust
Feeds skin of walking feet
Moves energies up high

Write poetry and songs
And draw a few clean lines
Know it will all unfold
When you become real calm

Simple and Profound

I think beauty isn't different from freedom. Rephrased, beauty found in a person exists because you experience that person as free. There is a sense of ease that follows them around. This relaxation is inherently attractive. 

When one experiences his own hidden freedom, one begins to feel beautiful. This has nothing to do with the treatment one gets from others, or the color of his skin and eyes. It has nothing to do with the external. One simply walks around feeling beautiful. Or carefree. Or joyful. Or peaceful. Or light. Perception heightens to a somewhat different level which may be called wisdom. A knowing arises that is rooted in something very stable, quite foundational. This may also be equated to power. The definition of this state is that of care and concern, love and protection, yet from a slight distance. Being fully available and near and, simultaneously, far away. 

Such an experience could be a step toward a state of truly being. Simple and profound co-existing in a single moment.

Urgh

What did I sign up for? What did I think? Was I so naive as to really believe? This world seems so harsh, so brute, so cruel. At least there are flowers along the cold route. Sometimes, I just wish to close my eyes and sit there for hours avoiding the light. I don't want to fight, I don't want to plead. I don't want to cry at the injustice in front of me. What am I really moving towards? How many more mountains am I to cross? I don't have the answers, I don't have the map. I need more assistance and a clear eye. To rejoice, to be strong, or whatever that means. I don't want to survive, I want to live. I cannot accept my faith of today. I can't be complacent and bury my head. Yet, the arduous journey has no end. I need a flashlight and a battery pack for the future ahead. They say even Krishna had a difficult life. I am not one of them who enjoys a bumpy ride. I can't run away from myself or my faults. My greatest mistake is to be born with what I don't have. I still haven't learned the rules of this game. It's designed by a mind from an unfriendly terrain. I need this disgust to leave my life. I ask for the power to illuminate and guide. 

I want to be given answers. I want to see a clear path. I want to shine brightly. I want to be a soulful dance.