Sadhguru: Why We Fall Out Of Love

Very often, we find that two people who come together out of love grow apart as the years go by. Why does this happen?
Let's say you planted a coconut tree and a mango tree in your garden when they were young saplings, and they were the same height. You thought they would get along pretty well, a great love affair! And if both of them remained stunted and never grew, they would remain compatible. But if both of them grow to their full potential, they will grow to different heights, shapes and possibilities.
If you are looking for sameness between two people, the relationship will always fall apart. After all, a man and a woman come together because they are different. So it is the differences that brought you together, and the differences may become starker and more manifest as one grows. Unless you learn to enjoy the differences as you grow, falling apart or growing apart will naturally happen. If you are expecting both people to grow in the same direction and in the same way, that is unfair to both people. It will curtail and suffocate both of their lives. Whether you fall apart in years, in months or in days simply depends on how fast you are growing.
This whole expectation that the person who partners with you should be just like you is a sure way to destroy a relationship. It is a sure way to destroy the garden. Allow, nurture and enjoy the differences between you and your partner. Otherwise, the situation will be maintained in such a way where one person is compulsively dependent upon the other, or both people are compulsively dependent upon each other.
We need to understand that relationships happen because of certain needs -- physical, emotional and psychological needs. Whatever the nature of the relationship, the fundamental aspect is you have a need to be fulfilled. We may claim many things for why we have formed a relationship, but if those needs and expectations are not fulfilled, relationships will go bad.
And as people grow and mature, these needs change. When these needs change, what looked like everything between two people will not feel the same after some time. But we do not have to base a relationship on these same needs forever and feel that the relationship is over. We can always make the relationship mature into something else.
Whatever the needs that brought people together need not be the fundamentals of a relationship forever. The very fundamentals of a relationship have to change as time passes, and as one ages and matures in many different ways. If that change is not made, growing apart or falling apart is definitely a certainty.

New Face

See...
The depth is simply there.
The look is one of aliveness.
Something is lit up.
The calm, wisdom, and stability cannot be missed.
Powerful and enticing.
This is the face of tonight.

Breaking in Half

I am breaking in half listening to the situation.
Why go against what you know is true for you
Just because some fearful voice doesn't shut up.
Old conventions win the race and tug you across the finish line.
You look back at the old life with a sense of loss.
The knowing this is all a manipulation you have fallen for is loud
Though not loud enough for you to take as important.
Years later the web has been weaved around you even tighter
Not yet at a point of suffocation and the only path you see is moving you there

Deceptions are beautifully crafted,
Dressed in wedding dresses and luxury cars.
The greatest desire is to get yours.
Some minds and bodies may incur a loss of their dreams feeding you,
As they have fallen for your lies
Which you, yourself, believed were truth,
Because you lack the necessary awareness
About yourself and your mechanism,
And they don't want to see you as you are,
Because they, too, are in need of something
That is unclear to them.

And so the energies intertwine and spiral down
Crawling, like a turtle, into darkness
Created by you.

And the next generation learns from this behavior
Repeating the cycle
Endlessly.

If I May

I want to surrender, I really do

I want to flow like the rivers do

I am so afraid to take the fall

I have forgotten to run you first crawl

I want to walk in peace and quiet

I want to think in joy and very loud

I want to feel like fireworks do

I want to give like I have nothing to lose

 

Please lend me strength to melt away

Please take my hand and show the way

Please sit me down in your compassion

Please take these chains, they are out of fashion

I long to see the best of me

I long to be the gift to thee

I long to glow like northern light

I long to live with open arms

I do not know what holds me back

I do not know the mechanics of life

I do not know the secret code

I just ask for help and keep up the hope

To Express

Prose or poetry? When the words are begging to be written down, which format is better fit to express the abstract and not so easily labeled except to use a metaphor or  multiple metaphors to make it a bit more tangible and graspable and palatable and relatable.

How to describe the experience of something greater than yourself appearing at your doorstep at the light of a lamp or the sound of a song. What words, metaphors, or similes can name the grandness and the mystery of the taste of the world beyond yours.

A bowing down to the great unknown in gratitude, disbelief, appreciation, and need, because the experience of it is bigger than any word in the dictionary can name, any style of writing can capture. All that is left to do is to keep this abstract experience as that, a personal experience filled with awe and wonder with a touch of unworthiness. How has this human been graced with such.... 

The need to disappear is strong. In its disappearance, a carefully planted seed can spread its roots and grow big, tall, and strong. The metaphor. I'll take it.

A Teacher's Mentality

He used to tell me all his friends were teachers and I was no exception. He used to tell me things that didn't make sense. Until they did. I have no patience, I used to think. I have no skill, I used to worry. I cannot see beyond the current, I used to imagine.

He used to tell me I, too, was a teacher. He used to teach me, again and again, day in and day out, that a teacher is nothing more than a student. The moment you think you're a teacher, you no longer are, he used to say.

He used to warn me that being a teacher is a frustrating job. He used to lament that students who want to know are few and far between. He used to tell me many things that made no sense to me. Until they did.

A teacher, I may not be, despite playing the role. A student of the human experience I just might be, despite my own blindness and prejudice. But the art of embracing all is my subject of study. And maybe one day, I just might have a chance to communicate something of value.

He used to teach me everyday in every way. He used to sit down with me and speak. He questioned lovingly and carefully. He used to read many things and learn many topics. He was a perpetual student, because he knew the depth of any subject was infinite.

He was my teacher and his teachings are still with me. And when I sit in front of the class, his words are in me. This must make me a student, or a humble servant of the people.

Complete

I may not have a place to live
I may not know the life of ease
I may not help all whom I meet
I may not know the taste of sweet

I may not sing a song each day
I may not laugh at the dismay
I may not know many things
I may not know how to live

Yet something's guiding me along
Yet something's pushing me so strong
Yet something's telling me to flow
Yet something won't let me go

The outside may be quite grand
The outside may drive you mad
The outside may give you drive
The outside may take you down

Yet I am looking out there
Yet I am digging deep in here
Yet I am asking many things
Yet I am seeking wild dreams

I may not have a place to live
I may not know the life of ease
I may not help all whom I meet
Yet I'm determined to know "complete."

On Death, Part V

We think this life keeps on and on
The age of 90 seems so far
When you are born and when you're young
And even when you're not that drunk.
But every moment passing by
Brings you step closer to dying.
And if that truth enters you deeply
You'll live each day with much more giving.
You will not bicker over coffee
You will not try to pull one over.
We all are heading the same way
We all will end up in same grave.
This isn't written to offend you
This isn't spoken to break you.
Reminding self of life so short
Must be included in every home.
Because a friend has left us now
And we're surprised by sudden parting.
We might be crying, we might be silent.
We are reminded of life's abruptness.
So please remember to be gentle
In walk, in talk, in touch, in greatness
How you behave affects too many.
Your life's too brief to be demanding.

In Inda-Your World (10-7-13)

And while you are sitting still
Reciting love songs and looking ill
And while you are feeling weak
Trying to find the words to speak
And while you're not able to sleep
Digesting feelings of last week,
I walk on by and float on through
Observing nature work through you
Become a witness to your dance
Between light, darkness, shadows, and grace.
I am not that tied to your infliction,
Nor do I share your convictions
I only happen to appear in your wild world
Which I will leave to you to dust and sweep, my dear.

In India-Bye Bye

I strolled alone along the arc
Yours crossed mine, bumping me off the path.
You danced in criss and walked in cross,
I spun around and felt your warmth.
The time swung by in its full force
Propelling me beyond your course.
I gently took a long step side
Assessed the picture and chose to march.

In India-Impermanent

What if I wore just an angel
Passing through this earthly life
Bringing fruit, candy, and smiles
To the creatures of human stock.
I could never be your someone
I'm too light and big and free
You can stay in my giant circle
There is lots of room to be.
And when time becomes depleted
I will keep on gliding by
I am only an illusion
Of what you want to be loved by.
So I ask that you come with me
Just as long as you might want
Knowing fully, at any moment,
I will leave you, just like that.

In India-In Love

I'd like to fall into your being
And find a truthful way of living
We are alone on this long journey
I share myself with you each morning

I know not what makes sun rise
Your beauty shines and sparks inside
The touch of love and gaze of care
That's who we are if we just dare.

The tide is high and then it's low
The change is constantly in flow
We are alone on this short path
To share myself with all's a must.

In India-Scraping the Dirt Off

The personality dissolves and fear arises in its due course
The life has only been known through this: I am like this, like this, like this.

And when that vanishes in time, how else can one feel defined?
And so the search for truth slowly ignites, support's required on these lonesome plights.

In sickness, health, in hell and after, the search for joy and life's been unaltered
Except for fleeting moments of true joy, life seems to flow on its own accord.

Once personality dissolves, you stand there naked without a course.
You might feel small, or dead, or mad, like your pedestal's been knocked down fast.

Which way to go, which way to turn, the eyes can't offer a due course.
You stand, or lie, or sit on rocks and wait for a truck to pick you up
And take you somewhere worth while being
Because there's nothing left to fear
Except the fear that lives inside
The broken heart and confused mind.

In India-A Flood

It sits there like a seed
Waiting patiently to sing
With utmost celebration
It's as big as largest nation.

It's been sleeping like a baby
Being wrapped inside a blanket
Overshadowed by fear
It succumbed and disappeared.

Yet the time has finally come
When the seed could not but sprout
When the sleep turned into life
Love just flowed-can not be stopped.

In India-Boring

I have nothing to add
To the extreme situation
What began as a rush
Crawled to a halted stagnation
Many years had swept
In the land of frustration
Many tears were wept
Formed a lake of lamentation

I have no more to say
Words became a damnation
What began as full life
Fell down less the explanation
Many lands were crossed
In silent contemplation
Many battles were fought
Still no fruit of manifestation

I have nothing to write
Beyond the current imagination
No new picture is found
In the mind of correction
Take one step, then another
With breaking tension
With the hope that soon
I explode into a creation.

In India-His Search

He goes up and slides right down. The slippery slope just won't dry out. He looks above and way down low. The path's been blinded and unknown. He sits in bed until day break, reciting questions in tired head. The hours went and years slipped and while full, all quite replete. Replete of that which brings fulfillment of lasting breed, or real achievement. He wears a smile in one bright eye, the other carries a deepened cry. And so he climbs and crawls and runs. May he reach high, of the sustainable kind.

In India-Those Eyes

He's looking at me, feels like he's hooking on me.
The gaze is straight with penetration,
I could just stay with the connection.
The words are truly hard to find
When forces act as strong ocean tides.
They pull you in and pull you under
And yet, I love the sweet surrender.
Whatever was and is becoming
Makes little difference to what's inside me.
Each passing moment seems to change
While dark, deep gaze remains the same.
There is a longing, a search for something
Can this one being fulfill the question?
The extra movement decides to vanish,
There is only you and me exchanging glances.
There is no fear. There is no hurry.
A moment big enough to write a story.

He's looking at me. Feels like he's hooked in me.
The bell is ringing. Time to cease day dreaming.
And so the next day will be there.
Only She knows the answers to our prayers.

In India-Listen!

Life has no end and no beginning
It rolls in spirals with no meaning
She twists and turns in every fashion
She plays the game of fire and passion.
She wants to scream and sing out loud
"Why not?" she says, "it's all allowed."
She doesn't need to have a reason
For being gentle, fun, or weepy.
It is her strength. It is her wisdom
To be this free and this forgiving.
It's only those who have been sleeping
Who find her actions beyond reason.
Might serve them better when they, too,
Decide to jump and let themselves spew-
To drop the chains and the illusions
That life is to be packed in tiny spoonfuls.
She will not let you know herself
Until you come to her and from the core
                                                on bended knees
                                                with tears on your face
                                                gently
                                                softly
                                                sincerely
                                                in surrender.... beg.

In India-I want

What I really want to see
Is flexibility and ease.
From the morning until night
Every morning free and light.
Moving gently like a breeze
Between darkness, gloom, and tease.
No matter the situation-
All is play in my perception.

In India-For E.

I sit, simply sit, with my hopes and dreams
For the flicker of light to explode within
To be set aglow and to be so free
When will the answer be shared with me?

"I want to live bravely and love without fear,"
That line sumps up all that I hold so dear
I search for the switch in the wall of my heart
It's so hard to find in the dark of the fright.

And so I just sit with my needs and sorrow,
Awaiting the time of tremendous power,
To be the great light that shines oh so bright
With patience, compassion for all in my sight.

In India-Yo-Yo

The inside of my heart is hollow at times
Another minute ticks and the emptiness recedes
And in another moment, all anguish simply goes
Just like the toy of yo-yo, emotions take me over.

And as the storms come and go, confusion seems to grow.
'Cause nothing is concrete or black and white as I wish.
And thus, it must logically follow,
Nothing is profound or hollow.

It's all a made-up version of inner child's torsion.
Because the driver of all action
Is in need for love and compassion.
Because my one greatest need
Is to be and feel complete.

To India-Unnamed (7-20-13)

Once a pebble, now a mountain
She stretches out to sky like a fountain.
Oozing sap of melted something
Can't be named, let alone uttered.
Spreading wide in all her glory
There is no need to live by story.
Little speck of past existence
Smarter still with much more distance.
Hard to see the brazen light
All that's left is to enjoy the sight.

To India-On Death, Part IV (7-17-13)

Sudden death in hockey
Sudden death in sleep
Sudden death in accident,
It's the violence! That's it!

Sudden high is not the issue,
If it takes you to the top.
Sudden fall might need a tissue,
Though the floor just might give ground.

It's the fear of the unknown
It's the fear of nearing end
It's all there, it has merit,
Still it's violence! I say.

Forceful taking of a life
Leaves bad taste inside a heart.
Melting into is quite lovely
Relaxation is rather loving.

It's the gradual ascend
It's the natural descent.
It's the easing of sensation
It's the opposite of tension.
That appears to be the ticket
To a life and death of freedom.

Neither...nor...

How does the lyric go? How does the river flow?
How does the world turn? What is right and what is wrong?

It was way in the beginning when the birdies started singing
It was well before my life that the trees and shrugs arrived

If my thinking's somewhat right, if my heart's somewhat alive
If my longing's big enough, will I then be quite enough?

And when sun has already set and the moon has shown its grace
And when light has turned to dark, will the answers then arrive?
At the end of this long road, at the tunnel toward nowhere
At the start or finish line, lies the stillness so deep inside.

While the lyric has no meaning, while the river simply is
While the world keeps on revolving, truth is neither right nor wrong.

A No-Name Poem

Nothing is clear

Everything's grey

Longing to plant

My foot down in sand

Close to blind

Vision so obscured

Waiting for light

To give signal soon

What's there to prove

How should I be?

When all I look for

Is freedom and ease

Need to decide how to feed hungry heart

Need to protect and clothe this mind

Need to know the road to take

Need to sleep well and smile when can

Writing this verse knowing full well

It is all up to me

The road, the way

The action, the thought

The energy and the result that's to be brought forth

I'm only a child

With little skill

It is daunting to know

It is all up to me

Yet I only can hide

For so much more

Before life within me

Decides to walk out the door

And that's why I request

With deep pain in my soul

For the forces out there

Big and small

To let me hear clear

To let me see well

To show me the way

Through and out of this hell

May I be in peace, in surrender, in bliss

May I know the truth of what exists

May I love the cold in the morning sky

May I share my purpose in being alive

Einstein

"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." -Albert Einstein

"You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew." -Albert Einstein

 

This is my motto. Many good quotes are out there. Many incredibly intelligent and evolved people have lived before me and will live with and after me. I have nothing more profound to add with my conversation or rhetoric. I only want to speak out from the place somewhere inside which rebels and cries out when reports of violence, big or small, in a home or in the White House are revealed. War between soldiers and family members continue, lives are damaged, people are slandered and painted as either good or evil, smart or stupid, narcissistic or saintly. As if everything is black and white and you can only be this or that. Yet, if god is everywhere, it is everything, don't you think?

 

Einstein is the Da Man. No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. We must see the world from a different perspective, a different understanding, a different perception. And the world is nothing more than you, your neighbor, your parents, your children, and I multiplied by millions. "They" are you and I. "They" are the ones who need to change a thing or two, evolve a thing or two, comprehend a thing or two. Only then, we might curtail the violence and damage we first do to ourselves, which then, so willingly and easily, flows out into the rest of the world, leaving footprints as scars, instead of flowers.

 

"...You must learn to see the world anew."

Hold them all

I just want to hold them all, the old, the young, the ones in the middle. And hold them. Sit still with them, or hold them down until they sit still with me. Because the rat race is not real. Because there is nowhere to go, nothing to achieve, nothing to prove. Because the comforts are nothing more than comforts. And thoughts... well, that is left to a personal experience. To find true comfort. That is the trick. The trick no magician ever showed me. Not the one on TV. And who is eating this burger anyway?

I just want to sit with you and be with you in perfect comfort and ease, knowing there is nowhere to go and nothing to prove. The balancing act is not an act, if balance is alive and well. Just as the breath is. Just as they all are. You are.