To See

Beauty is everywhere

In every petal

The butterfly's wings

Are works of art

Seeing the hawk

Dancing in the air

Mountainous peaks

Dotting the horizon line

Place your attention

Fully and totally

Onto a flower or a leaf

Sit with it, be with it

Like it's your lover

Watch it unfold 

You will bow openly

Nothing is hidden 

If you want to see it

Everything wants

To reveal itself

Place your thoughts

Into your back pocket

Waltz with the goddess

Found in nature's song

The Mind

It is said that the logical part of the human mind wants to divide. It wants to analyze and understand through dissection, killing the very thing that it is trying to know. What paradox.

The human mind wants to create "the other." In difficult and unpleasant times, this "other" is usually painted as "bad," to justify one's negative feelings. Because only when we make another human being our nemesis, we feel like we have the right to be upset, angry, hysterical. 

The human mind wants to split the world into good and bad, right and wrong. It's not hard to see there is no such reality. What is considered good by one is thought of as bad by another. It's a subjective view based on one's beliefs, culture, and perceptions. 

The human mind wants to create a sense of "I am good." No one wants to have a negative view of themselves. The mind also wants to protect the story of how it wants others to perceive us. We are good, bad, beautiful and ugly. We are complex and simple. We are everything rolled into one presentation known as "myself."

This "self" is a made-up entity required to navigate through this world. It is this entity that thinks and lives in duality. As long as that is the experience of life, right and wrong will exist. Black and white exist. For some, it's all grey, which is a state of confusion but it's a more sane state than living in the world of absolute right and wrong, good and bad, moral and immoral.

When one is able to live beyond the mind, even for a brief moment, there is no black and white, nor is there grey. There is just clarity of how it really is. Naturally, the judgement that is commonplace in the mind disappears. Events simply are. 

This is when life actually begins. In simplicity that grows out of clarity.

Yet To Be

Nothing's known and nothing's true
Nothing's old and nothing's new

No beginning and no sign of the end
Flowing like the river, looking ahead

Trusting the call into a free fall
Nothing to lose besides losing it all

Closing the eyes and opening arms
Drinking and drowning into the dark

Everything's changed and nothing remained
Onto the wave of a life yet to be made

Of Nothing

I got it back
The urge to write
It came alive,
The inquiring mind

Of what will be
Or could have been
Of people, things
Lost poetry

The birds, they come
Cannot succumb
The story unwinds
Concealed destiny finds

To be as someone
In the arms of the one
Surrender the crumbs
Become like no one

You

Self-esteem. Self-love. Self-respect. Self-worth. 

Self. Self. Self. And in the same breath we speak of self-less-ness.  Only when you are self-less, can you live in self-less-ness.

Everything is about you. You are the most important player in your life. Whatever it may be: sports, dance, family, work, cooking. Everything is about you wanting to feel good about and within yourself. As George Harrison wrote: "All through the day: I, me, mine..."

Yoga, too, is about you. With one difference. One major difference. While yoga is about enhancing you, it is not about self-expression. It is about self-transformation. Some activities also create a sense of pushing you beyond your current level of ability, capabilities, and experience. Yoga does it on a fundamental level, re-arranging the basis of your existence. It also has a finish line. It works like pumping a balloon. You keep pumping it and pumping it. It grows in all dimensions. It feels expansive and full. It is ready to explode until... With one more pump, it finally bursts. 

Yoga will burst who you think you are. When you disappear, who you actually are appears. 

There is no longer the self that needs self-esteem, self-love, self-respect. There is only presence.

Dinner with a Rabbi

Once upon a time when I've been on the planet for about 25 years and had the experience and perception of someone significantly younger, I came upon a closely knit group of Jewish people. This was the first time in my life I was around this type of a Jewish community. (Oh yes, the psyche of a girl born in a state-mandated discriminatory country is another topic of conversation.)

I became a regular attendee of Friday night (aka Shabbat) dinners which were pure joy. It was a while since I found myself surrounded by such intellect, eloquence, wit, and sense of humor. The long table full of people would be the centerpiece of the evening where great minds would discuss a weekly topic brought up by the Rabbi. A topic that was the section of the Torah to be evaluated and pondered over that special day. 

I didn't consider myself much of an intellectual or someone with the ability to formulate, let alone voice her thoughts in such an atmosphere, so I simply listened and marveled at the logical display of the people around me. They weren't shy to speak, debate, laugh, and drink. My nights were spent eating and laughing. The conversations also broadened my thinking. 

One particular night the question at hand was marriage. And since family and community are the cornerstone of the Jewish tradition, this topic was very appropriate. As I moved my eyes and head around the table, like watching a tennis match, of others expressing their views very vocally and loquaciously, the rabbi finally brought it all together.

The point he made stuck with me. He said one of the keys to a successful marriage was not to draw conclusions about the spouse. It was important to try to find something new in the other everyday. Since most of the time topics discussed were new to me, I simply absorbed the words because they intrigued me.

Fast forward into the future, it was several years ago that I had understood something. My all-too valuable daily meditation practice has demonstrated to me over and over that a human being is capable of growth and evolution. If such a tool is employed every day, it is impossible to stay stagnant for too long. It will allow you to change, sometimes very rapidly, to your own surprise. But here is the thing. If you are in a relationship, such transformation will make it much more difficult for your partner to pin you down and place you into their mental box of who you "are." (A little aside here. The partner needs to be able to actually see and perceive the changes, which requires enormous awareness and inner work). 

If you are constantly changing, rapidly or subtly, and the other is doing the same, the relationship has less of a chance of becoming stagnant. I would think this is not for everybody even though there is great potential for the partnership to be an ever-unfolding, endless story.

Upheaval

I've been told by others they have felt a certain kind of a shift last December. While I didn't notice much energetically, life situations became heightened for me, as well.

In my estimate, this is a time of significance. The grandiose global events are not by chance. It has occurred to me that, if looking back at history, the world has frequently encountered major upheavals in various parts of the world at the same time. This was even when there was little to no communication among the different countries, and we were not so interconnected. I always found it to be fascinating as a teenager, and now, it is clear that there is an overarching energy that governs and impacts us all.

We are now forced to stay in one place. For some, it's rather difficult. We do what we know best. If we know drinking, we do more of that. If we know study, we do more of that. Mostly, we're trying to fill our days with something to experience some pleasure.

I argue that this is not the time to be frivolous. This precious space so unexpectedly given to us is a one-of-a-kind opportunity to be with oneself. To dig deep and learn what the most fundamental longing of our being is. Find out more about who we truly are. Learn to be alone. Learn to be honest and vulnerable with oneself.

This is an ongoing quest that is worth dedicating several hours to on a daily basis. There has been much chatter, innumerable distractions, misconceptions. In other words, lack of clarity and lack of the ability to see things for what they are. 

What we discover today, may set a new course for us in our lives, because life is running away, faster than we even imagine. 

If I were to state my current understanding, then I would love to create a life that is rooted in a deep sense of knowing. When the veil is lifted and vision is unobscured by distorted and unconscious thoughts and deeds.

My vision is to live with a sense of inner freedom that gives the experience of stability, love, and power. Not the kind of power that controls others or puts you ahead of someone else. It is an inner power that relaxes the body and mind completely. The kind that lets you be with nothing to hide. It is the power that leaves you requiring nothing compulsively. It is a life of utter completeness, compassion and undeniable, unmistakable, unquestionable joy.

And yes, there would be old leafy and fruit trees amidst a garden full of flowers and butterflies. And the sounds heard are children's laughter, a summer stream flowing over rocks, a breeze ruffling the leaves with a loving presence that is felt ever-so-slightly behind me sharing the grand moment called ecstasy.

Words

Earth is our mother. 
She provides wisdom and clarity. She provides food, shelter, stability.
She is the one who takes away our suffering and absorbs it into her.
She is also the one who inspires the words seen on this digital paper.

Back in the day, long before technology came about, we used to write letters. Long and beautiful sentences with proper punctuation and grammar. With metaphors of longing and love. People used to wait for weeks and months to receive a letter from a friend or a love. 

Upon first discovering Hallmark cards, I found it to be a bit strange that someone else, a stranger, would write these heartfelt sentiments and you, the card buyer, are to give this pretty card with the pretty phrases to a person special to you. Shouldn't you be the one to write your own words?

I have a joke with my housemate when the mail comes in. The envelopes arrive and my only question is: "Is it a love letter?" It's my way of lamenting the fact that nothing hand-written from a person arrives to your door. Just matters related to money. 

But yet, when you sit on the grass and feel the sun on your face and the wind in your hair and the rain drizzle on your skin, poetry enters your being.  Something beyond the everyday mundane is there all the time to be experienced. 

And with the current world situation, while technology is at its peak, we, as a people, are "forced" to use our words to write songs, to write poems, to write jokes. It is natural to create music and begin to dance.

All the qualities that have little to do with money-related issues are being pulled to the surface and becoming a part of our everyday life. A life that is suddenly more beautiful and expressive in an inclusive way.

Why Women Are Crazy

Hello, world!
The following was written on 10/15/17 after yet certain life experience and observation. I never published it. Of course, every word written is in general. Maybe it's insensitive.  If you are offended, then there is truth here.  Inspired by others' frankness I've heard over the last few days, I decided to make this public. Maybe you'll enjoy it.

Women are beautiful. If you take your time and look carefully at a woman, she is simply beautiful… Her strength, intelligence, capability, perseverance, elegance can be fascinating to watch.

A woman feels unsafe. Almost always. We have created a world where a woman cannot walk down a street without internally carrying a fear that at any moment she can be hurt by a man. This is true everywhere, including sleepy towns.

A woman feels unsafe and not just physically. It’s also emotional.

A woman can fall in love with a man for a few reasons. Most of the time, it’s because she sees his best self. She can see through him and find his kernel, his essence, which pulls her in, which she wants to protect and nourish. It gives her pleasure to be of service.

But a man needs to earn her trust. She can love him, yes. If he has not earned her confidence, she will be afraid. She will continue to be afraid, and that fear will go on increasing. She will kick and scream. She will become angry, anxious, agitated. She will act like a bird in a cage.

The man needs to be there for her. He needs to look at her, touch her, kiss her like she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He needs to listen to her. He needs to deliver on what he says he will do. He needs to be trusted by her.

But man is too enamored with himself. He thinks too much of his own thoughts and his projects. He doesn’t understand that no matter how many things he does, a few hours with a woman who loves him will fulfill him in ways no other outside thing can. He doesn’t know that she will be his inspiration for whatever he wants to do. He doesn’t notice her all the time.  But her beauty is there, always present, just waiting to be released. It wants and needs a reason to explode.

And when that trust is there, when she feels like his intentions are to support her, when she feels like she’s actually important to him, when she sees that his effort is full of care and concern for her, when she knows he will do as he says he would, she will yield to him. Her beauty and love will grow beyond anything he or she has witnessed before, and he will be showered with the kind of energy he didn’t realize existed.

A woman is not crazy.  She is simply unsupported. 

Mercurial

One of my most favorite words is "mercurial." 

I learned it in high school. In one class or another. 

I thought it had to do with the planet Mercury. Maybe it does. 

As I watch nature from behind the glass door, this is the word that comes to mind. It fits.

Mercurial means unpredictable, usually in reference to a person. Someone moody.

And isn't life just that? A bit unpredictable, a bit of highs and lows.

I prefer uncertainty to certainty.

It is not a comfortable way of life. 

And while I don't enjoy the constant appearing and disappearing of the sun, I prefer the constant question in my mind: "What will happen next?"

What surprise am I to receive next?

Who will come through my door next?

What would be the next chapter of my life and what is the ultimate completion to my way of being?

In some way, I want to be used up. I want to pour out like excess water from a cup. Simply, effortlessly. 

I am on a lookout for opportunities that will allow me to move. Into the great question mark residing within me. 

Mercurial weather, mercurial life, mercurial me.

Pendulum

The pendulum is swinging and not just left to right
Observing the upheaval inside the mind and heart
The goddess is beside us protecting with her love
She's needed, she'd required in times of the unknown

A mini shuffle forward and then off to the side
Debris is falling quickly, much faster than cleanup
And I just want to hold you and tell you something sweet
With white snow falling down and cleansing from within

It isn't right to question what's fair or what's not
For life is full of color and shades of every kind
It's just that there's a sorrow mixed in with pure delight
The pendulum keeps swinging with stops and starts and sighs

Obsession

You found something altogether different. You saw something out of the ordinary in her.

She has been growing her spirit and letting that spirit rise and soar to the surface of her being. It is this spirit that is intriguing you. Because this is the same type of spirit that you wish and long for. This is the kind of spirit you want to experience within yourself. It is that spirit that inspires and heals. It is so big. It is boundless. You never felt this insignificant and small before. Yes, she’s difficult. She is demanding. She’s highly sensitive and moody. She is hard to be with. But her spirit is nothing you’ve ever experienced before. You want to go within yourself and grow that spirit within yourself.  Life is more than it appears to be. And you want to experience more. You want to be more. You want to know what lies behind the new door that presented itself to you. Your obsession is not with her. Your obsession is with feeling fully alive.

You As New

I want to talk and I want to listen
But mostly feel that which has been missing
I want to dive in and swim with eyes closed
Soon enough, I will leap to the other coast

The winds, they keep blowing in every direction
They pull me up and throw down with no hesitation
A bumpy existence with waves of a surf
I don't want to fall or trip on a red cord

If I can imagine the feel of perfection
It'll be like floating on air with no recollection
The kiss from above would carry me through
The darkness, the cold, the disappointment, and the gloom

And I would rejoice with every hand that I hold
I'd walk into the forest to bow down and to unfold
I would unwind the knot of the living past
Lie down over you and make you brand new

State of Affairs

(This is an ad-lib post. No poetry, no metaphors. An observation.)


The economy. The virus. The stock market. The personal lives. 

Everything is volatile. Like one of the tarot card readers said, "there is something much bigger than us." We are part of a collective whole. We are personally impacted in various ways by our immediate and broader environment.

Things are simply magnified. The earth is shaking itself. We, somehow, have created this consciousness. We, somehow, are ready for the next cycle in our lives. Sometimes, the old has to fall for the new beginning to arise. 

The destructive process isn't easy. The very foundation that you may be standing on is being re-arranged. 

In Ayurveda, an individual is seen as part of the whole universe. We should eat certain foods grown during its specified season at specific times of the day in the right combination. Because whatever is happening on the outside is deeply connected to what is happening on the inside. You are not a separate entity. You are separate only in your mind. 

Perhaps, the time has come for us to shed the old skin, like snakes do. 
Perhaps, the time has come to clean up our act and be re-born.

The rain is falling outside my window just as the tears are falling down my face.

The wetness on the outside has permeated my body..

The fear from the political and economic uncertainty has infiltrated my every cell.

This is how it is.

This an an opportunity presented to us. 

May we be brave. May we have the courage to step forward and toward what we really want for ourselves.

May we leave behind old thinking, old patterns, old beliefs.

May we gain clarity and wisdom to walk through hell with grace, for we must return and help the next set of soldiers.

A Love Story Part Y

Ah yes! The subject most fascinating to ponder: masculine and feminine energies.

The masculine is the root. The feminine is the flower.

The flower cannot be without the root.

If the root doesn't produce a flower, its purpose hasn't been fulfilled. 

If the root has been cut off, the flower withers and wilts.

If the flower wilts, the root is useless.

A person in whom the feminine prevails will feel like they are falling down if the stability of the masculine is suddenly removed. That person will feel anxious, will try to cling, will try grasp onto just about anything to keep balance.

A person in whom the masculine prevails will not fall. That person will be without beauty, will feel empty, numb, dead and will try to take desperate measures to feel alive again. 

If the feminine has not learned to grow with the support of the masculine, once the support is removed, its world collapses.

If the masculine does not learn to experience and internalize the subtleties of the feminine, once the softness and gentleness are gone, its world becomes grey.

In this duality, both are needed to support and nurture each other.

But...

We have both energies residing inside of us. Most of us lean toward one side or the other. The key is to find the complementary energy within. You become your own root and your own flower. This is a process.

In the meantime, we must learn to understand who we are, what we need, and how to relate, support, and nurture each other.

Living Hush

Sit still my child
Don't be in a rush
The time has come
To hear the hush

There is a pause at the end of the sentence
It has a role, it is to be respected

Don't worry now
The future is far
Attend to that
That nudges you now

It won't take long
For the traffic light to change color
Just breath and know
The answer is found in the now

Definitions

Love is not about possession, control, manipulation, obsession, ownership, or emotional co-dependence. Love is not "I give you this and you owe me that." 

Love is about freedom. 

Love grows your wings and those of your loved one. Love is about nurture. Love is about abandon. Love is about inclusion.

Love is a way to liberation.