Musings on Love

No, I just don't see it. I just don't see how it works, or even how it feels! What does it feel like on the inside, deep in the heart and in the gut, when you say: "I love myself." You can hug your body and think of how great your body is and feel tenderness and gratitude toward it. And yet, the body is not you, it is not who you are. You can smile because of a loving emotion you have about the job you performed, or the help you provided. That emotion is just that, an emotion, and still not you. It is experienced by you, but it is not you. Furthermore, I certainly do not experience the same feeling when I think about me as when I think about my sister or my lover.

No, I do not see it. I certainly haven't experienced it. Without that experience, I can not call it truth.

Another question to be asked, and this one is about giving and taking. Actually, it's not about giving and taking, but about giving and receiving. Without one end, the other cannot exist. I cannot buy stock shares if there are no sellers, and I certainly cannot sell (give), if there are not buyers (receivers). We need to know how to do both. One is not better or more admirable than the other. The pre-requisite to effortless giving is having the feeling of abundance, of wealth (I do not mean financial wealth), of having "extra," while the pre-requisite to effortless receiving is, fundamentally, having the feeling of worthiness. Yes, worthiness. (So excited I was able to write a 'Yes' in this paragraph)! In fact, it is more than a feeling. It's a knowing, an experience that you are worthy of all things possible. And as I receive, it becomes easier to receive until the receptacle is overflowing with gratitude and tears, and I have no choice but to...... give! And so the cycle is set in motion.

Here is my solution to becoming a welcoming vessel: drop all that I am not. And what am I not? I am not that programming that causes disease, guilt, fear, and death inside. And what am I? I am that which gives me the feeling of overwhelming joy, fullness, abundance, wealth. I am that which makes my vessel overflow and allows me to give freely with no expectation of any kind. I am that which gives freedom, inspiration, hope, laughter, and life inside. In short, I am a summation of all that that makes up the indescribable existence of love.

Love is what I am. It doesn't seem to be something that I do for myself. It's like saying Love (I) love love.  It is simpy there as a quality. A beautiful quality that fills my whole being and spreads like the sun.